Tough Love and Tea by The Good Witches

Posted on June 19, 2015 at 9:15 AM

tough love and tea

Welcome to our monthly blog where us Good Witches of the North give you some honest, down-to-earth conversation and advice containing some tough love and challenge blended finely with some Yorkshire tea and support.

Our first topic because it IS that time of year –
bodies, self-worth and self-love.

And our message – accept who you are – focus on everything that IS you and love it with all your heart. So let’s be honest and talk about how we as Good Witches feel about our bodies and our journey to loving and dressing for who we are!

And now some thoughts...
from the Yorkshire Good Witch, Bec for loving who you are:

Well I have for many years wanted a waist! And would describe myself as looking like a tree trunk! And don’t get me talking about my stretch marks…. But what I learnt was that the more hung up I got about what I looked like, the more things I found to be critical about and the more unhappy I felt about the situation. When we get fed up of ourselves in the mirror we are looking at us in the present. That is all there is, that moment in time, and wishing away our present, hoping for a better this, and a better that in the future robs us of any enjoyment or pleasure in the moment. And us women are so so good at running perfect. And do you know what I don’t want to be perfect or model like as I have no intention of eating salad for the rest of my life. Especially when there are crisp, dips and cheese around not forgetting wine!!!

In that moment, I choose to look and thank my stretch marks as they mean that I have two wonderful boys that I love with all of my heart. Yes……. I would like a waist but that doesn’t define me, the work I do with other women to help them step into their strength and how they feel at the end of the session defines me.

We are not just our bodies, we are so so much more than that, we are a collection of everything that has made us who we are and that in that moment when you go to criticize. STOP, choose to thank, choose to look for the good stuff, choose to look at your whole. The positivity you then start to feel means that you do not rob yourself of your NOW , because even the future is a NOW moment you haven’t yet had.

Over to you Geordie Good Witch, Dannie!

I’ve learnt a lot and continue to learn a lot about the fact that my self-worth is not tied up in how my body looks or how attractive I am perceived to be. Here are two of my trouble areas – my height combined with my curves – I have had a love/hate relationship with my height – some days I liked the feeling of being little and feminine and other days I wanted to stamp my feet and shout like a toddler having a tantrum with words like ‘I’m still a professional adult you know, even if I am small’. I had a limiting belief for years about the fact that if a woman was little she had to have a teeny, boylike body and that I was somehow odd because I had both an hourglass and was small and that somehow that was ‘clumsy’. What a load of tripe! If any other woman had said that to me about herself I would have told her she was being ridiculous and yet I was living my life with this playing out in my head all the time.

Now I have embraced my uniqueness much more, by wearing flats instead of tottering about in heels and being proud of the combo I have. I am more comfortable in my flip flops, boots or trainers, so I have made a conscious decision to embrace my hobbit-like height and my curves. I am incredibly grateful for the likes of Bravissimo/Pepperberry and the fact that they cater for big boobs even if you have a little frame. And you know what, I feel the best I have in ages. And that is most certainly because I have conquered my demons so nobody around me is reflecting them back at me anymore.

And because this is no longer the central feature of how ‘worthy’ I view myself, I can concentrate way more on my work, creativity and relationships. I’m a happier and more peaceful woman as a result.

For more tips on loving and accepting your body see this Daily Mail article or sign up here to receive our monthly spell cast for more down to earth magic.

Love and magic
Bec and Dannie xxxx